When Karma comes for you.

Hi princess,

It has been some time since I wrote to you. A few days ago it was Diwali, with lights and festivities all around. There were no such celebrations for me, but I enjoyed being part of the warmth all around. It has been an exhilarating week, with me discovering lots of important pieces of information about life. I discovered Buddhism and have never felt this happy or calm before. I just wanted to talk about one of the central features of Buddhism called Karma.

Modern young urban people often use the word karma in a very fancy way. You can see lots of Instagram and Facebook posts claiming "Karma is a bitch","Karma will get you". It seems as if there is so much hate and bile amongst us that Karma is some sort of vehicle for revenge. Karma is not merely a hashtag to be used against your fancy vacation photos or your stylish clothes. Karma is in the mind, your thoughts are also equally a part of karma. Your ill-will towards someone or hatred towards someone generates lots of negative karma for you. It is a very complex concept which is lucidly explained by Buddhist masters. Two points are very important in this regard.

Whenever someone hurts us, it is in fashion to say that Karma will get you. But, we say it in hatred and that itself generates bad karma for us. 

Karma will come for us too. We should not complain then by saying "Why is this happening to me? , "What have I done ? " .

My main point is you cannot expect Karma to work for someone you want and not for you. Karma is not your slave. It is a natural law. 

Karma works for us too, and our bad karma will catch up with us sooner or later. It is of no use blaming others then. My best advice to you would be to introspect about all the instances in your life when you generated bad Karma. Instances, where you could have been more kind and compassionate. You will find a reason for your sadness and it will also take away your anger because you would have an answer to the question "Why is this happening to me? ".

I hope you this gives you peace and calm in times of distress.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

The story of the lifeboat.

Hi darling,

It has been a long time since Daddy wrote to you. Hope, everything is right in school. I think we should plan a vacation soon. Somewhere really warm. It would be good for me and you too. Daddy has had a couple of bad days recently. He doesn't know what he is doing with his life. Directionless and purposeless. I think everybody has that phase sometime in their lives. Today, I just want to tell you a little story. It's a story you should read when people leave you, knowingly. When anybody leaves you, knowing that you will be hurt beyond measure.

The story of the lifeboat.

There was a deep dark ocean. In the middle of the ocean, there was a yellow lifeboat. Waves lashed around it, rocking it to and fro. But, it remained steady. It had to. Because there was a man in it. He held onto the lifeboat for his life. It was his only way to survive, in these unforgiving waters. The lifeboat knew that it had to keep the man safe until they reached the shore.

But, suddenly the sweet songs of a mermaid reached the ears of the man. The lifeboat heard it too. The man went crazy. He had to hear those songs better, he had to find the mermaids. The man jumped into the water and swam away to the music of the mermaid. The lifeboat was powerless, what could it do. It couldn't save the man. It wandered alone on the ocean. All alone.

After days and nights, of almost being broken into two. After hours and hours of baking under the scorching sun. It found the shore. The people there repaired it and painted it anew. It even became a fishing boat for a young man, helping him catch his fish and keeping him happy. The lifeboat became an indispensable part of the man's life and he took good care of it.

But, what happened to the man who went after the mermaids? He drowned and settled into the depths of the sea.

Hope you find warmth and comfort.
Hope you become happy again.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

You can't always be DiCaprio in Titanic.

Hi princess,

As you can see, today it is about this brilliant film. I hope you have watched the movie. It is about realizing something very important in our lives. This movie can teach us a lot about love, relationships and also destiny. I hope you find today's letter a ray of hope in dark times.

Every guy who watches this movie imagines himself to be Leonardo diCaprio(Jack), but sometimes in life we are like Cal Hockley. 

In our modern day complex relationships, it often happens that we fall out of love. We leave our partners or are left behind.

Moreover, they leave us for someone else or choose someone else. 

 When this happens, our whole world comes crashing down. We destroy ourselves, go into fits of anger, hatred and crippling depression. It takes months to come out of the fact, that they are not there and that they could do such a thing.

We have got to realize, that maybe sometimes, their "true love" is not us. It is somebody else. Yes, I know sweetie, it is a heartbreaking realization. But, we cannot be Leonardo DiCaprio always. We cannot be Jack always. Sometimes, we are like Cal Hockley. They are out of love with us. And we do not accept that fact. Moreover, we are standing in the way of a beautiful story.

Their story

. They are in love with someone else entirely,

their Jack.

Just like Cal, did a lot of horrible things in a fit of rage, we do the same. We cannot force someone to love us.

But, was it really worth it? Did he get Rose back?

No.

We can be better than Cal in our lives.

 Yes, there will be seething anger, crippling depression and nervous breakdowns. But, we must

survive

this disaster. For ourselves.

Maybe this time we are not Jack. But, sometime later we will be.

We will find

our Rose

.

And then, we can shout our hearts out.

I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD.

Yours lovingly,

Dad

P.S - There's a difference between real life and movies which they often do not show. Often, someone may leave you, not because they love the other person. But because of fun and they have been habituated to do so. In this case, movies do not offer any particular answer.

P.P.S - Same thing happened with Rani Mukherjee in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.

Should we "invest" in people like stock markets ?

Hello little darling,

How's my little princess doing tonight? Daddy's life is currently at a standstill. He doesn't know where to go, what to do. But earlier, it was kind of very tumultuous and confusing. Now, it is more peaceful. Nothing has changed on the outside but inside its quiet and calm. I just watch books and movies all day. Leaves me with a lot of time to spare. I had this one thought creeping up my mind.

Should we spend our time and energy on people like stock markets?

There are quite a few similarities and also dissimilarities between people and stocks. Let's put the similarities first.

1. People just like stocks are quite unreliable. Human mood and mind are subject to some real quick changes not unlike the stock market.
2. Everybody wants to get associated with the uprising hotshot people or stocks. Nobody cares when it is falling or failing. 
3. You have limited time/energy or money, so we should choose wisely. Great investments can yield great returns and vice versa.
4. You have different types of friends, just like different kinds of stocks in different sectors. You have work friends, college friends, school friends, neighbour friends. 

Now, for the dissimilarities. 

1.  Investing in stocks in optional. But almost everyone needs friends to live.
2.  Emotional losses are more significant than monetary ones.

You spend your time and energy on a person, you enjoy the companionship. You expect warmth and support in return. Similarly, you invest in stocks and expect a return. In financial markets, there's a very common saying. 

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

That is, invest in many stocks to minimize the risk of loss. In case of people, however, the advice is completely opposite.

Have a few close friends. That's all we need. 

But, what if it is better to invest a little time and energy in quite a lot of friends, just like the stock markets. Investing in one person has huge rewards, but if the person leaves, it has a disastrous aftermath. But continued investment in one person minimizes the chance of risk to some extent. More on this later.

Bye for now, sweetheart.

Yours always,
Dad

 

The Feeling of Being Forgotten,Replaced,Ignored OR Athazagoraphobia

Hello princess,

The festival of Durga Pujo is over. It's time for people to get back to whatever they were doing. The intoxicating spell of revelry has passed. But, in the midst of all the celebration, I felt quite small and unimportant. It was to do with meeting up old friends, who really were not that enthusiastic about it. I think everybody wants to feel important to at least a few people. There's a popular quote nowadays and I think it's very true.

In the end, we all want someone who would choose us over everybody else every single time. 

I guess people drift away after a certain point of time. Physical separation is quite a significant factor. Even though we have all forms of communication to keep us updated round the clock about other people, it is sheer irony, that we drift apart all the more. Mohiner Ghoraguli's iconic song (Prithibi Ta Naki Choto Hote Hote) about drifting apart is very apt here. We meet certain people, they add value to our lives, but after a point, we leave them or they leave us. We meet new people again. This cycle goes on. We would be very fortunate to have a group of people with us all along.

Sometimes, we wonder why certain people have moved away. Many times, it may happen that we have pushed them away and we are not yet conscious of that fact. In such times, we must introspect on what we have done, and introspect really hard. If we find something, we should really try to apologize and try to correct our mistakes. But, even if we try to do so, a broken string will always have a knot. I think I have pushed people away due to my own stupidity. I should not complain about the world, but I sure can complain about myself.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation, try to correct yourself first before blaming others for moving away. If you find something wrong you have done in the past, try to make up for it. A person who wants to stay in your life will always welcome you back again. If not, then it is sad, but in the long run, you are better off without that person. Besides, daddy will always love you.

Always. :')

Yours lovingly,
Dad

The Importance of Reaching Out

Hello darling,

Today is Dashami. The victory of good over evil. The victory of light over darkness. I had quite an interesting thought today. Somewhat related to the previous line. It's about how we forget the light in people and only see their dark and negative sides.

I went out today with my friends from college. We had drifted apart for quite some time, due to physical distance and also our busy lives. I noticed that the further we drifted apart, the more cynical and apprehensive we got of each other. We remembered the negative parts about the people more than the positive parts. But after we went out today, we had a great time and we forgot about all that we didn't like the other person. I think reaching out to people can clear a lot of difficulties. In the professional side, it can avoid a lot of misunderstanding. On the personal front, it can really rejuvenate a relationship. In a way, it was the victory of clear thought which lighted our way out of the narrow dark tunnel vision we had.

I think anytime, you find yourself not thinking right about a person or being angry or disappointed about the person and you don't know what's wrong, we should always spend some time with that person. We can do this until a point of time though. If the other person doesn't cooperate with us in our effort to clear up the situation we should back off after a certain point of time. Knowing when is the trick. Sometimes, we let our ego take centre stage and allow it to act on our behalf. We refuse to talk to that person. I also think knowing the difference between ego and self-respect is very important. 

Sorry if this letter raises more questions than answers, but I just wanted to discuss this with you.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

Am I losing myself ?

Hello baby,

There's just so much daddy wants to talk to you about. So many thoughts swirling in his head and crashing like waves against rocks. I think daddy is losing himself, he is becoming something who he isn't. Sometimes, you sit up and wonder whether you are the same person after a traumatic incident. It may not be trauma in the eyes of the world, but for you it is. It's like a storm which just refuses to die down. It may be you lost your job or your house or a person very close to you.

Today is Navami, I shouted on a close friend pretty terribly. I felt so terrible, so awful. I see all these couples lovey-dovey in each other's arms. 4 years ago, your daddy was also like that. But then, nevermind. I think it hurt me so badly in the subconscious that I let it out by shouting terribly on her. Everybody wants to see me like I was- jolly, cheerful and cracking jokes all the time. But, I just cannot be that person anymore. I still retain glimpses of it, but somehow a different me just creeps in. I am not the same person anymore. 

I don't know if you are having the same problems right now, but I think it is important to be certain and quite sure of the kind of person you are. Self-knowledge is pretty important. What you like, or don't like. The kind of person you are, change that knowingly only for the better. Circumstances do change people, but I think after some time, they get back to what they were in the first place. I hope something of that sort happens to you too and you find yourself again, much stronger, much better and most importantly much happier.

Yours lovingly,
Daddy

Hello little baby,

Hello little darling,

I start this blog today. Today is Ashtami. 28th September 2017. It's light, sound and celebration all around outside. There's an infectious wave of joy and cheerfulness all around, but sadly not me.  I sit here in front of my laptop writing to you. I am writing to you because you are or should we say will be my bundle of joy and happiness. Also, one more thing, this blog is more of a stream of consciousness writing than a composed essay.

It's been a bad end to a good phase of my life sweetheart. It has been the best three years of my life followed by the worst. I am currently jobless and heartbroken. I have applied to so many jobs, but I got rejected in all of them. I have given up applying or even thinking about a job. It seems the universe is hell-bent on not giving me one. I see everybody getting jobs and going to great places. I sit here at home, doing nothing. It's just so pitiful, yes pitiful. I will take about the heartbreak in a later post.

Hope you never get sad and disappointed like me when searching for a job after you graduate. Just one tip, never leave all options and get stuck to one. Always make sure you have something in hand, even if you don't' want to do that particular type of work. And I hope, it will always work out for something good in the end.

Yours lovingly,
Dad