Did you really forgive ? Do you really want a person to be happy ?
Hi darling,
It has been a few days since I wrote to you. Hope you are happy right now. If not, just remember that hate begets hate. The only way to end hate is love and compassion. It is true not only on a personal level but also between families, communities and even nations. Anyways, we often need to forgive someone, and sometimes it becomes really really hard to do just that. Sometimes, the people aren't even sorry. But, we often need to, for our own good. I just realized something about forgiveness and whether we really forgive someone or not.
Vengeance and hatred towards a person is like holding a burning coal in your hands waiting to throw it at that person. You burn yourself first. This is a remarkable insight from the Buddha. Forgiving the person is the only way to attain peace. I think if we really have forgiven a person and want a person to be happy, we need to answer the following question.
If you could control fate, would you always keep that person happy throughout their lives ?
If we are 100% sure that the answer to the above question is a resounding YES for a person, we truly want that person to be happy. If you are not so sure, then you still hold some grudges against that person. Often, we forgive a person, on the basis that I personally forgive you, but fate will take care of you. This is not complete forgiveness, this is partial forgiveness. You want that person to be hurt to teach him/her a lesson. You may have cooled down your flames of anger, but the hot ash is still there.
The same goes if you really want to know if you REALLY care for a person. Hope, this helps when you are in doubt over someone.
Yours lovingly,
Dad
P.S - For you, it will always be a BIG YES for me. Always :)
The story of the lifeboat.
Hi darling,
It has been a long time since Daddy wrote to you. Hope, everything is right in school. I think we should plan a vacation soon. Somewhere really warm. It would be good for me and you too. Daddy has had a couple of bad days recently. He doesn't know what he is doing with his life. Directionless and purposeless. I think everybody has that phase sometime in their lives. Today, I just want to tell you a little story. It's a story you should read when people leave you, knowingly. When anybody leaves you, knowing that you will be hurt beyond measure.
The story of the lifeboat.
There was a deep dark ocean. In the middle of the ocean, there was a yellow lifeboat. Waves lashed around it, rocking it to and fro. But, it remained steady. It had to. Because there was a man in it. He held onto the lifeboat for his life. It was his only way to survive, in these unforgiving waters. The lifeboat knew that it had to keep the man safe until they reached the shore.
But, suddenly the sweet songs of a mermaid reached the ears of the man. The lifeboat heard it too. The man went crazy. He had to hear those songs better, he had to find the mermaids. The man jumped into the water and swam away to the music of the mermaid. The lifeboat was powerless, what could it do. It couldn't save the man. It wandered alone on the ocean. All alone.
After days and nights, of almost being broken into two. After hours and hours of baking under the scorching sun. It found the shore. The people there repaired it and painted it anew. It even became a fishing boat for a young man, helping him catch his fish and keeping him happy. The lifeboat became an indispensable part of the man's life and he took good care of it.
But, what happened to the man who went after the mermaids? He drowned and settled into the depths of the sea.
Hope you find warmth and comfort.
Hope you become happy again.
Yours lovingly,
Dad