Talking and making sense - The art of communication

Hi princess,

I just came back from a scintillating concert which had many parts - Carnatic Violin, Carnatic Vocals, Odissi and Kathak performances. Two very young girls performed Odissi and their confidence and skill at such a young age just blew me away. I hope you grow up and excel at something you like as well. I have been thinking what to write and this very significant topic just popped up in my mind - The art of communication. 

We always try to tell people things, ever since we are babies - we babble to know what we want from our parents and then slowly learn to talk, scream, shout and cry. All of them are forms of communicating, of saying what you want to say. These letters themselves are my way of communicating everything I feel and think to you. But, effective communication is an art, every politician, entertainer, comedian knows this art very well. There are countless resources to teach you this art, but the following is what I have learnt from my life. 

Smiling makes someone's day, whether it's a cab driver, a barista or anyone you encounter - if are not sad yourself, spread the cheer and make them feel a part of your happiness. Similarly, a kind thank you ( a kind one, not a curt formal one) shows your appreciation in a small way towards all people you encounter and interact with. 

Never be afraid to state facts, but be careful about opinions. Often, we encounter people who pride themselves on being very "straightforward", actually often to their own disadvantage. Facts are sacrosanct, but opinions change and may be ill-informed, be very careful about communicating opinions, because an ill-informed opinion might cause unnecessary complications. 

Know the right place, time and mode to state facts, brash talking and matter of fact way of putting things might not be the best way every time. 

Talk you heart out and be honest - one thing I often regret is how less I talked to my father before he left us. Talk and clear your emotions and thoughts. People are built for communication, not for isolation. 

Making bullet points helps most of the time.

Silence is better than confused thoughts and expression.

Use words judiciously, a lot can be said in less words.

Best,

Dad

P.S - Last point, Always talk to dad :)

The Importance of Reaching Out

Hello darling,

Today is Dashami. The victory of good over evil. The victory of light over darkness. I had quite an interesting thought today. Somewhat related to the previous line. It's about how we forget the light in people and only see their dark and negative sides.

I went out today with my friends from college. We had drifted apart for quite some time, due to physical distance and also our busy lives. I noticed that the further we drifted apart, the more cynical and apprehensive we got of each other. We remembered the negative parts about the people more than the positive parts. But after we went out today, we had a great time and we forgot about all that we didn't like the other person. I think reaching out to people can clear a lot of difficulties. In the professional side, it can avoid a lot of misunderstanding. On the personal front, it can really rejuvenate a relationship. In a way, it was the victory of clear thought which lighted our way out of the narrow dark tunnel vision we had.

I think anytime, you find yourself not thinking right about a person or being angry or disappointed about the person and you don't know what's wrong, we should always spend some time with that person. We can do this until a point of time though. If the other person doesn't cooperate with us in our effort to clear up the situation we should back off after a certain point of time. Knowing when is the trick. Sometimes, we let our ego take centre stage and allow it to act on our behalf. We refuse to talk to that person. I also think knowing the difference between ego and self-respect is very important. 

Sorry if this letter raises more questions than answers, but I just wanted to discuss this with you.

Yours lovingly,
Dad