Life is a cab ride.

Hi sweetheart,

Sometimes we all feel a little blue. We all feel as if we do not know where we are at present and where we are going. We have an immense feeling of ennui, which is not exactly sadness but more of an all-devouring confusion. I just want you to sit down, take a few deep breaths and look at the big picture. Slowly and gently, I want you to read this.

Life is like a cab ride. You stop somewhere, you leave some places behind. You pick up some people along the way. You leave some on the kerb. Some people leave without paying you the fare. Some tip you extra. Sometimes, you are on the highway and at other times you are stuck in gridlock. Sometimes, you car stinks of alcohol,cigarettes and vomit. Sometimes, you have a puppy at the back. At times, you car breaks down completely and somebody has to tow you back home at 2am.

But, after all this, there's only one question in your mind. 

Are you in the driver's seat always ? 

No, you aren't. And that's fine. 

It is a BIG BIG world and you are a liiiitttttleeee girl. It is okay to feel confused and overwhelmed. When you do, always talk about it to your close ones and NEVER EVER keep it hidden inside.

Yours lovingly,

Dad

P.S - People close to you are like the traffic lights and police cars and the GPS. You know, whom to turn to for directions in your life. :)

When I am no more.

Anand, kabhi mar nahi sakta

Hi princess,

This is one letter, that I will have a hard time writing. But, I feel I must say this to you. One of the worst days, in everybody's life, is the day they lose their parents.  I just wanted this letter to be with you on that day. on the day I am no more.

Yesterday, one of my friend's dad expired. She is just 22 and she lost her dad. I was at a loss for words, to console her. How painful, it must be to lose your parent at such a young age. But, yesterday she was strong, I could not help but admire her. She has had to go through so much in a day. But, still, then she was smiling for most of the day.

I just want to tell you, that when the day comes, I want you to smile and reflect peacefully on a life well lived. A person has to go, whenever his or her time comes. I want you to move on with your life. To do everything that you have ever wanted to do. I want you to know, that throughout your life, I have instilled in you a few guiding principles. I want you to test them for yourself and not accept them blindly. I want you to tell other people the same and tell them to smile because of a life well lived, of a life I really wanted to live. I don't want you to fret too much about the rituals and the funeral. I want it to be as simple as possible.

I hope I have been able to give you solace and comfort.

Yours forever,
Dad

P.S - Always shining down my love on you.

A million little loves

Hi princess,

Today, I will tell you about something that has been on the back of my mind for a few days. It is about one of daddy's heartbreaks. People all around me say that time heals everything. Yes, it does. It has for me too. But, sometimes it stings like small glass pieces. Those little things, that she used to do. I never realized it at that time, but now I do.

There are a million little ways to love. 

Kolkata has very hot and humid summers. She used to style up her hair in a bun,otherwise hair all over your shoulders could make you feel really uncomfortable in the summers. But, whenever I used to meet her, I used to open that bun. Because, she looked beautiful with her unfurled hair. She let it be. 

She has a pale coloured dress. She used to look like a dead butterfly in that dress. I told her, you are much too beautiful to be in that dress. She never wore it again. 

She had a strawberry flavour lip balm. Evertyime, before we kissed, that lip balm was pressed into service. Strawberry flavoured kisses. 

She was such a kid at heart. On the bus, it has to be the window seat. I ended up losing both the window seat and my heart to her.

She was a perpetual latecomer. Waiting for her, I missed classes and labs. If I didn't go with her, I would miss her the whole day. And, missing classes and labs was nothing compared to missing her for the whole day.

Have you ever seen, how trees are covered with a million little droplets after it rains?
The rain has stopped, the clouds have floated away.  But, the droplets remain.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

P.S - That extra ice cream that you take from the fridge. And I pretend, not to notice. :)

 

New year. Fresh start.

Hi princess,

Happy New Year, 2018. I never keep any new year promises or resolutions, but this year, I have kept a few notes to myself. 2017 was possibly the worst year in my life, till now (:p).  But, I learnt a lot of life lessons and met quite a few amazing people.

The main motto for 2018 to be the best that I can be. I have been hiding away from my true self for quite some time. This is the year to rise and shine. Okay, so here are the 2018 notes.

1. Get fit. Like really fit.
2. Take care of people.
3. Meet new people.
4. Travel places. Solo trips. Travel 5 new places.
5. Stick to Buddhist thought and philosophy.  Read or listen to stuff daily.
6. Rediscover your love for world cinema.
7. Learn one instrument - keyboard, mouth organ or flute.
8. Read more books about sociology, psychology and human world in general.
9. Keep writing to you.

Hope by the end of the year, I would have done most of these. Let's make 2018 our year. :D

Yours lovingly,
Dad,

P.S - The best year in my life would be the year, you come into my life. :)

We can be stars for people.

Hi princess,

It has been a while since I wrote to you. This period of my life is predominantly happy with an aftertaste of confusion. In this letter, I am trying to explain my mental condition at this point in time. It is weird, amusing but also quite powerful. At a certain point in time in our lives, if we are lucky, we are blessed( yes blessed) with the realization that love doesn't require possession.

We can be stars for people too. We do not need to go out or talk to them to cherish them. We can be distant in the night sky just like stars. When they look up to the dark stormy sky of their lives, we will always be shining on them, providing a faint yet everpresent glow of light in their lives. When they face difficult times, people always look up to the sky and you will shine bright upon them. You would always wish that wherever they are, whatever they may be doing, with whomever they are, may they always have happiness and peace in their lives.

Be a star for someone.
It is the most beautiful thing you can be.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

Double Trouble

Hi princess,

This one's really really special. This is from the closest person in my life and also the best uncle you will have, Saptarshi. He wrote this as an advice to his daughter and to you. I hope both of you become life-long friends right from childhood. Both of you little munchkins would grow up together into phenomenal women. That's why this post is called Double Trouble.  Uncle Sappy has some advice just for that.

Always be a person that your daughter could look up to. Be self-independent but never hesitate to ask for help when needed and from the right person. Never be afraid to approach your parents with a problem( This is damn true :p). We are the ones who truly care about you. Always keep your chin up and stay motivated. Don't let other girls make you feel, out of place. If you feel out of place, that's acutally a good thing. 

Dating Advice(YES :p) - If you are a little reserved there will be something mysterious about you which many people wouldn't notice, but your prince charming always will. 

I somewhere know, that Sappy would love you like his own daughter. The same goes for me too.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

 P.S - Also, anytime you and I have a fight, try him to help you. :p

What love isn't

Hi princess,

Everybody at some point in their lives has struggled with this question to define what love is and what it actually means. I have wondered too, and have realized certain things about what it isn't. This may sound idealistic and even preachy, but I hope there comes a time in your life that you realize what I am about to say is very true. I realized that I really loved someone, very deeply. The following lines are for her and you.

Love isn't like those Uber promotional codes, full of conditions. 100 Rs. max,  5 trips only between 10 am and 11 am. 

Love isn't like those tequila shots at the bar. Small and limited. 

Love isn't like that exchange offer at Shopper's Stop. You find a fault and you bring a new one.

Love isn't like those temporary Snapchat stories, which disappear after 24 hours.

Love isn't like those billboards and hoardings, flashy and fake.

Love isn't like your semester GPA, lowly and unforgiving. :p 

Love isn't like those competitive exams, where only a few get through. 

Hope you find some peace and clarity. :)

Yours lovingly,
Dad

P.S - The picture is from the movie Love Acutally. Watch it sometime :)

Stars and the people you love.

Hi princess,

It has been a long long time since I wrote to you. Honestly, I just got lazy.  But, this letter is very special, because it has been co-written with a very special person. Say hello to Shubhaa didi. She will have loads to tell you about me when you grow up. :p .  Today's post is about the people you loved and lost. Or maybe, they got away. It came up as a result of a conversation we were having. Hope you enjoy reading this.

Maybe you have studied in your Physics class about Einstein and his special theory of relativity. It basically says that light takes time to travel from one point to another. So, the farther we go into space, we are seeing further into the past. Stars are very very far away from us. So, we are seeing stars as they were millions of years ago.

The people we loved are like stars. Distant in time and space, but still shining upon us faintly and twinkling in the back of our minds. And we cannot deny or regret our love for them, just like we cannot deny that stars exist. 

Every once in a while, we get intimidated by stars and they overwhelm us. We feel insignificant in front of them. They will forever have a little corner of our heart, staying quietly in a little corner of the sky.  But, the universe always provides us with a guiding light. 

There will always be people, with whom you can be unapologetically yourself and count on them to shine happily over you, regardless of time, space and the universe.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

P.S - Always shining on you, wherever you are, whatever you are.

Did you really forgive ? Do you really want a person to be happy ?

Hi darling,

It has been a few days since I wrote to you. Hope you are happy right now. If not, just remember that hate begets hate. The only way to end hate is love and compassion. It is true not only on a personal level but also between families, communities and even nations. Anyways, we often need to forgive someone, and sometimes it becomes really really hard to do just that. Sometimes, the people aren't even sorry. But, we often need to, for our own good. I just realized something about forgiveness and whether we really forgive someone or not.

Vengeance and hatred towards a person is like holding a burning coal in your hands waiting to throw it at that person. You burn yourself first. This is a remarkable insight from the Buddha. Forgiving the person is the only way to attain peace. I think if we really have forgiven a person and want a person to be happy, we need to answer the following question.

If you could control fate, would you always keep that person happy throughout their lives ?

If we are 100% sure that the answer to the above question is a resounding YES for a person, we truly want that person to be happy. If you are not so sure, then you still hold some grudges against that person. Often, we forgive a person, on the basis that I personally forgive you, but fate will take care of you. This is not complete forgiveness, this is partial forgiveness. You want that person to be hurt to teach him/her a lesson. You may have cooled down your flames of anger, but the hot ash is still there.

The same goes if you really want to know if you REALLY care for a person. Hope, this helps when you are in doubt over someone.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

P.S - For you, it will always be a BIG YES for me. Always :)

The lion is the king of the jungle. But, is it the happiest ?

Hi princess,

Every human being at some point of time in their lives, questions the meaning of happiness. So many brilliant thinkers, philosophers, artists, scientists and poets have constantly engaged with the question of "What it means to be happy? " If you are currently at the same stage, do NOT get anxious. Take a deep breath and read on.

Our modern society unable to comprehend the true meaning of happiness has designed several indirect or proxy ways to measure it. Wealth, fame and power are some of the yardsticks we choose to measure happiness. We are surrounded by advertisements telling us to buy that life insurance to lead a tension free life, to drink that can of coke to feel refreshed, to take a an exotic holiday, to buy that shiny car to experience pure control or even more ridiculously, to buy those elegant sanitation fittings to achieve some kind of harmony in life. All products and services give us temporary happiness and leave us wanting more of it. Although there is some correlation of happiness with these parameters, they do not tell the whole picture.

Wealth has a linear relationship with happiness, in the initial stages. But, after our basic needs as a person in a society are satisfied, I think it increasingly becomes less and less relevant. Fame may elevate our mental image of ourselves to great heights. But, when we come to realize that most of today's "fame" is fake, we see the impermanence of it all. As for power, Spiderman said it best " With great power, comes great responsibility."

We see so many powerful, famous and wealthy people lead unhappy lives, yet we do not learn.  Do not be "forced into happiness" by seeing people get new jobs, getting degrees from the best places, or getting married or having children. There is no single key or definition of happiness, it depends on us and us alone. You define your own happiness.

The lion may be the king of the jungle, but is it the happiest? Maybe we are not lions, but tortoises or owls in the jungle of life. There are happy tortoises and owls and giraffes and so on. You do not need to be a lion to be happy. 

I think whenever, you find questioning the meaning of happiness, do not look at the outside world. Ask yourself, ask inside. The world will give you all kinds of answers which won't make sense to you. But, your mind and your heart know the true answer already.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

P.S - You make me the happiest person on earth. :)